hello there.

teehee

2011-07-16T11:43:00.002+07:00

HELLOH EPEREBODEHHHHHH :))

maap lama tak post apapun disini, lg asik liburan nehhhh :3

SO.

liburan ini ngapain aja?

-kado huntingggg for medo jess and hace (my college friendss)

-oasis. lots and lots of em.

-bbq with lollipeng!

-A HUGE AMOUNT OF DRAMA.

yeah..... the last one is so true. the break-up between my two best friends ( you know who :| ) and my quarrel with SEK...

what....?

bahahahaha yessss i had some disagreements on things with him which turned really ugly.

butttt we settled things down, so everything should be okay right now, we're friends againn! lol

by the way, is anybody reading this blog? i mean, there's nobody showing up in the comments so im preety pesimistic about that :| hahaha

see you later then, dont worry there's gonna be more posts, even though i cant promise you when :(

byeee :D

NGAKAK.

2011-06-28T00:56:00.000+07:00

i dont know who i am.

2011-06-28T00:01:00.002+07:00

its funny, when i asked my friends what were they thinking about me.

my old friends (from high school) said, i dont talk too much. im calm. im steady. accepting. kind. great listener. protector. some of them said they feel like im their mom (i was like wtf bahaha)

but, my new friends from campus told me the complete opposite.

they said im fierce. my mood changes quickly. im funny and expressive. very smart. bold and forceful. a good public speaker. they also said i get mad a lot. some of them even suggest me to join anger management therapy (dasar calon2 psikolog -__-)

how weird is that? i mean, there are like 2 different persons living inside me, controlling my brain, lol.

when i told my new friends' answer to my old friends, they (my old friends) laughed so hard. they said, "hana? ngamukan? buahahahahahah"

bzzz. -___-

when i told my old friends' answer to my new friends they (my new friends) laughed too. "gak mungkin lah hannnn km diem, sg bener aeeee"

nginggggg.

bingung.

i dunno exactly why it happens, this differences. i think its just me who will always automatically and unconsciously try to fit in.

maybe for me, different people, different group, means different personality.

btw, is it just me? atau yg laen jg ngrasa gitu? hmmmmmm.

well, however ini alesan yg paling masuk akal.

atauuu....

masa aku bipolar sih? <-- ini nih ga masuk akal hahahaha

soooooooooo, if you think you know me, think twice.

soalnya aku sendiri juga nggak tau aku ini orangnya kayak apa ;)

should i?

2011-05-31T18:50:00.002+07:00

Isn't it kinda disturbing, when you are enjoying your single life, and suddenly a man comes. who's just the right type for you, and wanders around.. around you?

sigh.

love.

2011-05-21T10:57:00.003+07:00

ah, love.

such an amazing thing.

do you know how magical it is?

how one person can make your day.

how one touch can blow you away.

how one voice can ease your pain.

it is magical.

how it makes you smile.

how it makes you cry.

how it makes you feel lonely.

you'll just never know.

how you forget time when you're with him.

how you want to make time faster.

how you want to rewind and go back.

it is a mystery

how it can burn your heart into ashes.

how it comes and goes.

how it chooses you for me, not the others.

sigh.

good times

2011-05-21T10:38:00.003+07:00

so if you see my previous post about the talk show and seminar...

that's our project of UC psychology students of 2010.

we are tasked to make a bureau which provides tests and consultation for special-needed-children.

we did it, and it was FUN.

we worked so hard on this.

countless times of meetings, frantic schedules, super long list of to-dos...

and ta-da! IT WAS A SUCCESS!

i am so proud of this. we truly had a great time.

on that day (may 16) we had the opportunity to meet and play with these wonderful kids. they are just amazing. although they have disabilities, they are still able to put on a smile on everyone's face.

it also reminded me how lucky i am, for being born healthy and complete. it made me feel grateful somehow.

this project has made me closer to my uni friends. we know each other now, and we got along really well. and i loveeee them :)

ahhh good times i tell you, good times.. :D

rawr.

2011-05-21T10:35:00.000+07:00

I AM BORED.

AND LONELY.

sigh.

ayoo ayoo dateng! :)

2011-05-07T08:52:00.004+07:00

Program Studi Psikologi Universitas Ciputra mengadakan:

Seminar & Talk Show tentang Identifikasi dan Penanganan Anak Berkebutuhan Khusus

(down syndrome, ADHD, autism, speech delay)

Mau ikutan? Contact me ya!

Hana 03181535811

atau

Rayna 081703079833

kalau kalian mau ikut, nanti bakal dapet undangan, dan bisa dipake buat 3 hari seminar (topiknya ada macem2, yang ttg anak berkebutuhan khusus ini cuma 1 hari)

seminarnya gratis semua, kalo nambah 15 ribu dapet sertifikat buat semua 3 seminar

(yang bisa ditukerin KP di universitas manapun :D)

Untuk orang tua anak berkebutuhan khusus,

(baik yang sudah didiagnosa maupun yang belum/kacenderungan)

Silahkan datang! Talk show & Seminar FREE!

(untuk sertifikat fee Rp 15.000,00)

Akan ada juga biro tes & konsultasi oleh para pakar dan psikolog yang berpengalaman menangani anak berkebutuhan khusus

Bawa anak anda! :)

For details about other seminars, contact kita langsung aja :D

the mystery of a missing blackberry

2011-05-07T08:17:00.004+07:00

hmmmmm

its been so long......

so how are you guys? teehee :D

ive been very busy lately... lots of task, lots of projects :s

kuliah bener2 ngabisin tenaga -_______-

oke, first of all, im gonna tell you that my blackberry is LOST. yeah.

tuesday morning (april 26) i forgot if i brought my blackberry to campus or not.

when i first got to class, i looked for it and it wasnt there (it was 7.15 or so).

i thought maybe its at home, i didnt remember bringing it anyway. soo, i follow my lectures like usual, and went home. and when i got home, bam! it wasnt there.

so now, im living without blackberry and its like an unimaginable torture (as i said on fb)

now im using flexi. my plan is to ask for a new blackberry in august, my birthday.

that means im not gonna use any blackberry for about 3 months.

its wayyy too long :(

so, in these 3 months, i decided to ask for a new laptop to my dad, since this one has been being used by my brother. you see, my brother's been married now, he's working, he's got a great position in his office (means enough amount of salary) and yet he uses MY laptop to work. i was wondering if he hasnt got the extra money to buy one, but not long after that i saw him carrying a TAB. and he still brings my laptop everyday to work. wtf.

i already negotiate with my dad about this haha and he agreed to buy me one.

you are probably wondering why the hell would my dad buy me a laptop just after i lost my cellphone?

well... its just how we run in this family, lol

when i told my dad about my lost blackberry, approximately this is how it went:

me: pa, hpku ilang. lagi. (for you who dont know, before i got the blackberry i got e71 and it was lost too)

my dad: HAH? yg blackberry? (at this point i was really scared, i thought he's gonna scold me or something)

me: ya iya lah....

my dad: ilang di mana?

me: gak tau..

my dad: lho, kok isa gak tau seh. (laughing)

that's all.

oh well.

the most explainable reason is that my dad already know how pissed i was when i lost my blackberry so he felt that he didn't need to scold me anymore. and he understand that scolding is not the best way to solve problems, especially for me.

may God bless the person who is keeping my blackberry, so he will be so rich and happy he will return it to me.

cacar air, laptop, mobil, dan SMA.

2011-03-20T15:01:00.004+07:00

yes, saya kena cacar. akhirnya. -.-

Ive never realized having chicken pox is the worst nightmare that could happen to a human being. gosh.

well, untungnya demam dan kepala cenut2 cuma datang beberapa hari saja, so.. yah, lumayan lah.

gatelnya juga gak seberapa kerasa, berkat bedak dokter yang ajaibnya luar biasa.

agak bersyukur sih, dengerin crita pengalaman temen2 yg kena cacar sampe mau mati rasanya, hahahah.

hmmmm.

SAYA BENAR-BENAR BUTUH LAPTOP BUAT DIRI SAYA SENDIRI. DAN MOBIL JUGA.

gara2 aku kena cacar, my brother and pregnant sis-in-law terpaksa pindah sementara ke rmh papi maminya, biar ga ketularan (as you now, having chicken pox for pregnant moms are totally dangerous for the baby)

NAH. selama pindah, LAPTOP SAYA DIBAWA. wtf.

Bayangkan kehidupan tanpa webcam dan dvd player. secara di kamar saya tak ada tv, dan cara satu2nya saya ntn dvd itu cuma pake laptop. tidak bisa skype, tidak bisa kerja tugas (file2 nya kan di laptop semuaa) T___T

jadi pas sakit, tiap hari kerjaan saya cuma ntn tipi dan browsing2 geje di ruang keluarga. kepanasan, badan pegel semua, pusing... pengen tiduran di kamar, tapi di kamar gak ada hiburan sama sekali. serasa mau mati bosan.

DAN, gara2 laptop itu dibawa, jd gak bisa bikin video ultahnya cikd. great.

im really2 sorry ya cik :(

lalu, MOBIL. saya butuh mobil. desperately.

papa bilang mau kasi sopir aja. gahhhhhhhhh! emoh lhoooo paaaaaa.

percuma pake sopirrrrrrrrr.

bayangin, everyday, i go to campus at 7, go home at 5. lah sopirnya juga masuk at 7, go home at 5. brarti, fungsi sopir itu sama kayak anter jemput, anter aku ke kampus, sama jemput.

the question is,

BUAT APA PAKE SOPIR KALO MAKENYA CUMAN 2x SEHARI????

lagian sama aja kalo malem aku mau pergi mobil pasti ga bisa dipake.

GAHHHH.

tau ah. bete.

anyways, ini udah nyaris dua minggu si cacar bersarang di badan. jadi, besok saya sudah bisa masuk ke kampus. kuliah lagi, kuliah lagi. aku kok bosen ya kuliah? :(

pas SMA 3 taon g pernah ngrasa gini lho. meski semales2nya model apapun kalo skolah masih niat. kalo sekarang? aduhhhhh. padahal ini baru semester 2. still have a looooong loooooong way to go.

huff.. pengen balik SMA.. :(

JANELEE SHOP

2011-03-06T01:55:00.013+07:00

wow! what's thattt?

OMIGODDD!

That is sooooo cooool!

I wanna have that!

UWOOOOWWWW

WOW WHAT'S ALL THE PRETTY ACCESSORIES?!?!?!?

AHA! There's a new webstore coming around!

JANELEE SHOP <----- link there

jeng jeng jeng jenggggg.....

CHECK IT OUT! AND BUY THOSE PRETTY ACCESSORIES! YEAHHHH! GOOOOO! NOWWWW!

LOLLLL I thought i wanna make a funny advertisement so... yeah.... *ehem

its not funny....? oh well...

Errrr. You must be wondering what the hell is Janelee Shop and why is it advertised here. Well, it is my brand new online shop, which sells pretty accessories like above, hahaha. Your visit would be much much appriciated :DDD

It is my project for my Entrepreneur Class, but that doesn't mean I'm not serious doing it. I'm thinking about expanding it, and hopefully it would be successful :)

sooooo, visit JANELEE SHOP, yeah?

thxxxxxx sooooooo muchhhhh :*

this year.

2011-02-19T02:31:00.002+07:00

Out on the open highway

Out in the open air

See the world move beneath me

Leaving without a care

I know just where I came from

But I don't know where I'll end

Only thing that I'm sure of

I'd do it all again

I found a boy I could love

Maybe I found a few

Even with best intention

They never follow through

If he could take my heart now

He'd put it right in her chest

Thinking he have a girl he

Finally could love best

And I'm gonna be fine, fine, fine

I'm gonna be brilliant.

This year is gonna be better, and you're gonna see

This year I'm gonna be stronger, and a braver me

This year I'm gonna make it, 'cause I said I would

And do all the things you said I never could.

This Year. This Year.

I may not be perfection

I never claimed to be

Maybe if I was thin or

beautiful classically

Of all of the things I carry

All of the things I know

I know that I will be loved

No matter where I go

And I'm gonna be fine, fine, fine

I'm just gonna be different.

This year is gonna be better, and you're gonna see

This year I'm gonna be stronger, and a braver me

This year I'm gonna make it, 'cause I said I would

And do all the things you said I never could.

This Year. This Year.

Maybe you're the kind

Who needs light falling down

Maybe you're the kind

Who needs stars risen to the ground

Just to feel the things you wish for are coming true

Sometimes it's hard to get up

Maybe its hard to speak

Think no one understands you

Feel like nobody sees

When the night's dark around you

With all of the things you've lost

You'll know the hope inside you

Sometimes is worth the cost

And I'm gonna be fine, fine, fine

because we'll be together.

This year is gonna be better, and you're gonna see

This year I'm gonna be stronger, and a braver me

This year I'm gonna make it, 'cause I said I would

And do all the things you said I never could.

This year is gonna be better, and you're gonna see

This year I'm gonna be stronger, and a braver me

This year I'm gonna make it, 'cause I said I would

And do all the things you said I never could.

This Year. This Year.

THIS YEAR-MEGHAN TONJES

late valentine

2011-02-18T22:54:00.002+07:00

hello!

i know its wayyy too late to talk about valentine, but yeah.. i just cant help it :D

sooo im sure many of you are thinking that im gonna say something really sarcastic about valentine's day, but EEEEEEKKKKK SORRY YOURE WRONGGGG!

ive seen and heard people nowadays dont seem to celebrate valentines day. apparently some of us consider ourselves smart, thinking that valentines day is made by marketing departments to engorge our money and it is USELESS, and blahblahblah...

we say that we dont need such thing called valentines day. we even create such statements, "everyday is valentines day, so we dont need any." or "Valentines day is no different from other days"

well, sadly, some of us never thought about this: "Have we really think everyday like valentines day? have we treat our beloved everyday like when its valentines day?" well if we do, you dont need to read this and i dont need to write this at all. BUT if we havent, im telling you we're such a cold-hearted-bitch.

my argument is, who doesnt want to be loved, and who doesnt want to be told that he/she is loved? im not a romantic kind of person, but i admit (although its hard) that i want to be told that im loved sometimes. and to tell someone that you love him/her doesnt really need that much money, if youre smart. or just say I LOVE YOU and it would be enough (except when u have a nasty-bitchy-ass girlfriend or boyfriend who asks more, thats really just ur bad luck hahahah) anddd, we, as normal people sometimes forget to tell the person we love those sacred words. we forget to show them how grateful we are to have someone like them. btw dont you know that when you tell that person he/she will be sooooooo happy? it would make his/her day!

all im saying is valentines day is there for a reason. its there to REMIND us to always tell our beloved ones that we love them and we are thankful to have them. i mean, if we dont tell em everyday we can tell em once a year, right? and its not just for our gf/bf, they can be anyone around us. so valentines day is not useless. it is good, especially for people these days who seem to always forget all the sentimental-but-priceless things....

talking about love, my philosophy lecturer just said something like this today, "why must we be sad when the person we love dont love us back? we shouldnt feel the loss, because he/she has just lost a person who love him/her, and you only lost a person who dont even love you. he/she is the one who should feel sorry, not you."

and, my friend said, "but it is harder to lose something we love than something we dont love."

and, i say, "choose the one which make you feel better."

haha.

i wasnt really saying that. actually i skipped his class today because my ive got stomachache, but my friend told me what happened..

but honestly, i agree with my lecturer. i think we should start to think with our brain, not our heart. i know losing someone we love is super-though (believe me ive been thru these things) but if you keep thinking that you're on the losing side of the "deal", youre just pathetic. sure, we all need time to get back on our feet but at least please try to move on.

i always get disturbed when someone put on bbm or facebook status telling how he/she is broken-hearted, or how stupid they are to lose someone they love, or how sad their life is without that certain someone.. gahhh just get over it! uve got your friends back you up. uve got a decent home and a nice family. uve got a great environment to grow and discover yourselves. why bother weeping about all that stuff?

we are still young, for god's sake. we still have a lot to explore!

there are so much more in this world. would you just turn your head and see?

kuliah. lagi.

2011-02-09T20:40:00.000+07:00

HADOHHH MALASNYAAA.

oka is home! and BALI!

2011-01-29T01:34:00.005+07:00

yeahhhh oka is homeeee! she went back here in 21st.

we had bbq last saturday and we had, like, a BLAST. it was so much fun!

here's our picture:

rwn,satryo,cath,theo,fung2,jang2,rider,albert,oka

wewe,vene,irda,sl,aris,me,flo,ss

(we look very happy here, dont we? lol)

few days ago, oka and i went shopping with ss and irda also at atom. and today, we went to sutos. so happy. teehee.

i miss my friends who havent come home yet.

my lovelies cynthia darmawan, samantha sicilya, dimas karel...

hartono taruna, stanley eka kencana...

and a lot others.

anddd also the ones who are not in surabaya right now.

btw this July we're planning on a second trip to BALI!

my pengs who are studying abroad will ALL be home in July, and WE'RE SO GONNA HAVE FUNNN!

actually its kinda difficult to organize everything since we're all literally spread all over the world lol and we cant communicate other ways than with BBM or the internet. butttttt wish us luck, yeah? heheh.

i dont know if flo is gonna come with us bcos her parents may not allow her :(

pleeeaaaaaasseeee God let her go to baliiii *praying*

i just realized there are A LOT of grammar and typing mistakes in my last posts bcos i was wayy to lazy to edit them, so... sorry, i guess? lol

oohh lazy me. im such a lazy bum.

bye :D

dull dull dull

2011-01-24T00:34:00.008+07:00

so. the last few weeks of my end-of-semester holiday has been spent by watching youtube videos, loud music at midnight, sims 3, and solitaire.

well here's my schedule of my daily activities the whole holiday:

10 am wake up, watch some tv, brunch

12 am finished tv, turn on pc, play sims 3

3 pm eyes getting tired, take a nap

5 pm more tv, dinner (although its too early)

7 pm more pc

9 pm going to the bed room, open my lovely lappie, watch videos on youtube

1 am finished youtube, open itunes, play solitaire, blogging

3 am going to sleep

actually there's an exception, if my dad tells me to go to the office with him, from about 11 am till 5 pm ill be in the office, doing nothing. (well i help sometimes.)

great, eh? super dull. ooh.

few months ago i found charlie mcdonnell and alex day on youtube. they're british vloggers and they're hilarious! and ive been watching them these few weeks. they may seem a little bit mental (british for insane hahah), but they're incredibly witty and smart. they also have done some music and now they're like celebrities in england, being on BBC and such. you should really check them out. they're absolutely great. fun facts, they're bestfriends and living in the sam flat, and charlie's channel is the most followed youtube channel in UK.

here's the a couple of their videos:

anyway, im somehow kinda intrigued and obsessed of the idea of the game sims 3. you know, the sense of full-control of what's going to happen when i play this game, it just makes my life a lot more fun. i can even kill the character im playing. its a real pleasure, muahahaha.

this holiday i kinda miss reading. i used to read when im bored instead of torturing my eyes in front of a high-technological screen. i always had books to read but now i dont have any :( any book suggestions, anyone? whatpopular books are there these days anyway? hmmm.

what else........? errrhhh.

i dont knowwwwwww. its still 1 am and im already ahead of my schedule, yay for me! ahaha....

now im just looking at my dark room (i turned the light off so when im going to sleep i just put my lappie down and just, you know, sleep) and trying to find out what else i can day because obviously im not sleepy yet. im not even yawning.

whew i just left this posting window for about 20 minutes to watch more charlie and alex.

sorry... lol

i think i got nothing else to write here.. sooo BYEE!

GPA.

2011-01-16T22:47:00.002+07:00

IP saya..........

3.66....

jelek :(

iya emang kalo diliat gini bagus.... tapi teman2 saya lebih bagus lagi :(

3.7, 3.8, 3.9.......

hiks.

bingung juga mau ambil 22 apa 24 SKS. Yg bagus2 aja maunya ambil 22. aku mampu nggak ya? :'(

hiks.

tanah airku.

2011-01-14T23:03:00.002+07:00

Tanah airku tidak kulupakan
Kan terkenang selama hidupku
Biarpun saya pergi jauh
Tidak kan hilang dari kalbu
Tanah ku yang kucintai
Engkau kuhargai

Walaupun banyak negri kujalani
Yang masyhur permai dikata orang
Tetapi kampung dan rumahku
Di sanalah kurasa senang
Tanahku tak kulupakan
Engkau kubanggakan

tanah airku-ibu sud

have u ever realized Indonesian national songs are actually really good? Ive just heard this song and i was blown away. I really wish Indonesian music industry is as good as these kind of songs, which have beautiful words, beautiful tones, and beautiful meanings.

have u ever realized Indonesia was more civilized, than it is now? People respected others, although they're not all the same. People honored education, intelligence, honesty, humbleness, and patient. now, all we care is money. the more money you got, the more they worship you.

in those days, we were more human.

i know what you're thinking...

"why bother writing this crap, like there's something we can do about it.."

or..

"hala kon koyok gak butuh duit ae..."

right?

well, I'm just hoping that we, as the younger generation would be reminded, that we have to change this. and we can.

I understand very well i alone dont have the capacity to do that, but bersatu kita teguh, bercerai kita runtuh, right? :)

We have the power to make Indonesia a better country. Its just if we want to or not, to make out something better than money.

So, let us do something for our country, how bout that? :)

I know i know all the writings above sounds cliche, but im not that naive. i know that money is important.

but remember...

"all people need money, but its not all they need."

Good night everyone, xoxo

28 first questions in 2011

2011-01-01T02:56:00.003+07:00

woohoooooooo its 2011 babyyy!!!! xDDD

its the new year, new spirit, new strength, new hope, new life!

soooooo. i read some random blogs and i found these questions:

1. You're trapped in a room for 3 days with your ex, what do you do?
freak out, throw up, die.

2. You' re stuck on an elevator with the person you have fallen the hardest for. What happens?
in a couple of minutes he'll find to talk about, then we'll chat and laugh at ourselves.

3. Do you want to marry your boyfriend/girlfriend?
dont have any bf right now

4. When is the last time you were in a photobooth taking pictures with friends?
WOW i just realized it was soooo long ago -.- high school maybe? i definitely will take more later.

5. Who's the last person you had a sleepover with?
irda ss hw theo ari bano jang2 aris albert fung2 oddy cath sugi!

6. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided seeing them?
yessss lol

7. On average, what do you think you cry about the most?
family matters

8. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?
I used to.

9. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
YES. i have asthma, so yes.

10.Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
not yet

11.Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to?
mojo

12.What' s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
broke up. end of story :|

13.Are you going anywhere next summer?
im thinking about bali with my cousins

14.Are you waiting for anyone to call right now?
nopee

15.Are you shy?
not really.

16.Are you talkative?
ahaha a little bit.

17.Do you announce when you have to pee?
what? no lah!

18.Who was the last person you cried in front of?
errrrhhh. forgot.

19.Are you good at hiding your feelings?
most of the time yes.

20.How is life going for you right now?
chaotic.

21.Do you trust people easily?
depends.

22.Do you give out second chances easily?
NO. i dont believe in second chances.

23.Do you smile a lot?

yes :D

24.One thing you're looking forward to?
getting a new car *.*

25.How do you feel about change?
depends on the change itself.

26.Have you ever cried from being so mad?
of course.

27.Do you get the recommended eight hours of sleep each night?
sometimes yes.

28.Are you ticklish?
yes, quite.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! :DDDDD

seconds to a new year.

2010-12-31T21:20:00.004+07:00

currently i'm at j.co, sutos. sitting with nothing to do.

its 9.21. 3 hours to new year. dunno why i dont really feel excited. i feel extremely sad and bored :(

ah. my resolutions!

1. lose 3kgs per 3 months.

2. driving my own car. (Pleaseee papaaaaaaa)

3. get a part-time job.

4. get my GPA min. 3,75

5. can sing like beyonce (HA!)

6. celebrate my birthday with my own money

7. read at least 20 non-fiction books.

8. can cook 3 types of main course

9. learn mandarin language

10. get a boyfriend (HA! kidding! lolll there are actually some people who believe this omg)

my 2010 timeline:

* January: realized that a serious relationship is very unimportant. tryouts.

* February: one of my best friend passed away. another tryouts.

* March: UNAS.

* April: UAS. saying goodbye to high school. got stressed out.

* May: brighter days. starting to enjoy the super long holiday. BALI WITH LOLLIPENG!

* June: found out that one of my best friend hates me.

* July: had a HUGE fight with dad. got a new laptop.

* August: college. learn how to naek angkot.

* September: made my tumblr.

* October: UTS. busy with college. missing high school.

* November: UAS. super busyyyyyyy with college. went to thailand. abandon this blog.

* December: realized that a serious relationship is kinda important. blogging again :D

new year's resolution.

2010-12-30T21:19:00.002+07:00

no, i actually havent written any resolutions guys. ive been in a very very horrible mood these days, dunno why. it seems like everybody's getting in my nerves every single time. God is testing me somehow -.-

sooo. yeah, im pissed. hoping that my new year eve's not gonna be ruined by anyone else.

if you are wondering why the hell i wrote the title "new year's resolution" with no resolutions in this post, is well... i just thought i need to write one. ahaha.

okay then, i guess i'll see u with my resolutions! buabye ;)

color quiz

2010-12-19T00:30:00.002+07:00

errhhh. i was looking at my previous posts and i found my test's result www.colorquiz.com. i decided to give it a try again. surprisingly, the result is totally different, and both of them are and were true. maybe you can give it a try. its fun. haha. im still trying how the hell is the web analyzing our answer though --a

here's the new result:

Hana Olivia took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

""Wishes to live in a calm, peaceful, relaxing envi..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

the previous result:

HERE

blogwalking.. found these.

2010-12-18T23:43:00.002+07:00

1. Why did you create this blog?

cuz i was super bored and i saw my friends made one and they had fun.

2. What kind of blogs do you follow?

the ones with fierce and clever writers :)

3. Favourite makeup brand?

MAC and ultima

4. Favourite clothing brand?

dont like branded clothes, too expensive lol

5. Your indespensible makeup product:

eyeliner

6. Your favourite colour:

purple and yellow

7. Your perfume:

Elizabeth Arden green tea!

8. Your favourite film:

anything funny

9. What country would you like to visit and why?\

europe, simply cuz its beautiful.

10. Make the last question yourself and answer: what is the most important thing in life?

survive

im a salesperson who just cleaned her room.

2010-12-18T22:03:00.003+07:00

WOW it's been really long, eh?

so here i am, blogging, at last. ahaha. im on holiday (yay!) for 2 months (super yay!) and i'm so glad my first semester is done, although i dont really know how my marks are. dunno, dont care, lol.

yeahhh.. ive been feeling really happy, cuz HW is homeeeee, baby! and yesterday ari went home, and today mojo want home too, so it's gonna be fun fun funnn! :DDDD

i kinda miss talking here. i miss writing, teehee.

few days ago i cleaned up my super-duper-messy-room. i put away all my high school papers and books. i havent cleaned them since i graduate until like few days ago. can u believe that?? lol. i also cleaned up my old comics and magazines. i thought it would be too wasteful to throw it to the trash bin, so i decided to sell them. i dunno yet exactly how, but i will, really really soon.

i also put away my old clothes and bags. they're not too bad looking so i decided to give em to dad's workers at his office. actually i wanted to sell em too, like the books, but the idea sounded greedy, so yeah im just gonna give them away, haha.

when i was exploring my shelves, i found my mom's glasses. at that moment i realized that i miss her.

Using a japanese shelf divider, i parted my shelf for make-ups. let me tell you it is really useful. it looks like a mini fence, white vertical lines connected by a small part of plastic. u can find it anywhere, in carrefour (in the japanese stuff area), fresh market (at sutos) or papaya. u can use it to divide your shelf (when you have a wide shelf and you want to put many kinds of stuff but you dont want them to be scattered all over the shelf). its only 25k per 2 lines, and its a great investment for your clean and organized shelf! (wow i already sound like a great salesperson! thanks to UC lollll)

i spent about 8 hours cleaning up my room. it was very tiring, but it turned out to be a masterpiece. my room looked like crap and now im like, "ooohhhhh look at my room!" lol.

today my lovely irda came to my house. first we wanted to go sutos tonight but i didnt want to leave my dad alone at home cuz my brother and sis-in-law went to jember to see her mom, so me and irda decided to go accompanying my dad instead. we went to kepiting cak gundul. it was good, yeah. after that we went back to my house and talk about trawas. ah, i forgot to tell you im goin to trawas next week! form 26-29. yeahhhhhh! woohoooo. we only talked about it for about 15 minutes we were already distracted. we talked about anything else (i forgot what lol) and we took some ugly pictures with my camera. haha we were sooo absurd. i will upload the pictures later.

i also want you guys to know that i'm back!

i promise i won't abandon this blog again, cuz honestly i really really miss writingggg!

okay then,

my eyes are starting blur, so its time to say goodnight to the world and say hi to sweet dreams!

ciao! :))

guilty.

2010-11-16T08:34:00.002+07:00

i abandon this blog for a really, really longgg time.

it feels like im losing my writing sense, you know. i basically dont know what to write.

no time, no inspirations, only work work work in my mind, nothing else.

i know its quite depressing to read my nagging about my task and everything, but that's really how i feel :(

oh well, i think i dont have anything else to write, so.. see u soon?

you killed me :'(

2010-11-01T13:06:00.001+07:00

U KILLED ME.

college student with college activities

2010-10-26T13:15:00.002+07:00

olaaa!

wow I'm getting really busy these days == I've got the Periplus project, I've got lots of homeworks to do..... college is not fun! there, I said it! High school is easy. We can skip classes, homeworks, anything. And we still had time to do other stuff like blogging, for example.

Everyday i wake up at 5.30. At 6.10 I drive to the bus stop and wait for the bus. I arrive at the campus at 7.18. I study study study and study until about 4.30pm. Go home by bus, arrive at 5.30 or so. I take a bath, watch TV for an hour. At 7 I start opening my laptop. No, not playing! I'm doing my homework! I work work work and work until it's 10pm. and that's the time to sleep. Why the hell I don't sleep late? Because I don't want to wake up late.

That happens everyday except Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. on Wed I went home at about 1pm so I've got more time to rest, an on Thurs i went home at 11am. on Fri, my first class is finished at 9.10, but my other class start at 2.10pm. Sometimes I go back home and rest first (I go back to campus at 1pm) or I stay in the campus doing homework (again).

great.

and it's getting better.

Every Wednesday there's an ENTREPRENEURSHIP class. at that class, the students will be taught to be an entrepreneur. Well, from the way I'm thinking, we are taught to be a cheap salesmen.

I've mentioned the Periplus project, right? This project is from that class. in this project I have to sell things which are sold at Periplus. Imported books, magazines, etc.. Actually I could choose one of 8-9 companies which I'm going to work for, and I thought it would be fun to do the Periplus. Unfortunately, it is not. and to be more unfortunate, this project is for UAS.

The happiest moments in college are:

-When I meet someone new

-When I got extra credit

-When I finish my homework

-When I got good marks

-When the lecturer is not available teaching

So if i sum up all the things I've written here:

College is like hell, but in a more friendly environment.

everything is missing.

2010-10-23T23:58:00.003+07:00

my cellphone is missing. someone obviously stole it at campus. ==

now, im using a my dad's chinese cellphone bcos its the only one that is not used.

today, my IPOD is missing. great. its like, gone.

what the hell is happening to me........

i dont care if my cellphone's disappeared. i dont like the sound of cellphones anyway. but my ipod? how could i miss such thing?! i need it so baddddd!

hufff... ive gotta keep looking.......

God please help bringing me back my ipod...... :'(

post after all these years HAHA

2010-10-14T17:36:00.004+07:00

wah sudah lama ya saya tidak post.... ehehehhe

sooo the UTS results came out like, few days ago. and i, surprisingly did well. hmmm.

FYI, i didnt study hard for those exams.. well it is not as good as my smarty-pants-friends who have studied really seriously, but the scores are actually higher than i expected. im just sooo glad that its all over now :))

im also glad that i could meet up with my pengs last weekend. we hung out at sutos and it was funnnn!

they said im a bit more feminine somehow. well, thats nice, i guess. lol.

last saturday i also went to atom with medo, jess, and sintya. they're my close friends at college and they are GREAT. we had fun, just walking around shopping.. i found a tosca-bluish green tank with leopard motive on it, and the best part was it only cost me about 60k or so. HA! it was so cheapppppp and it looks good on me so im glad i bought it :D

i cant wait till december. i'll get the UAS done, the holiday's gonna come, and my pengs who are outside surabaya will be coming homeeeee! yay to that! lol

questions2 isengg

2010-10-04T19:43:00.002+07:00

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?

>> not really.

2. Smart?

>> YES

3. Preferred age?

>> same or older

4. Preferred height?

>> taller

6. How about piercings?

>> nonono

7. Accepts you for who you are?

>> duh.

8. Pink hair? transvestite????

>> omgggg

9. Mushy or no?

>> NO WAY

10. Thin or fat?

>> not thin

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?

>> do not care

12. Long hair or short ?

>> SHORT

13. Plastic or metal?

>> what?

15. Smoker?

>> nonono

16. Drinker?

>> as long as he's not drunk everytime

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?

>> errrhhhh. preferred not. but its okay

18. Muscular?

>> dont bother.

19. Plays piano?

>> plus point

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?

>> yes

21. Plays violin?

>> no. too mushy.

22. Sings very good?

>> wow that would be nice. we'll sing a duet! :)

23. Vain

>> ewww go to hell

24. With glasses?

>> preferred yes. look smarter, no? lol

25. With braces?

>> no

26. Shy type?

>> no

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?

>> no

28. Active or passive?

>> preferred one who knows when to be active or not

29. Tight or bomb?

>> ?

30. Singer or dancer?

>> singer.

31. Stunner?

>> preferred not.

32. Hiphop?

>>no.

33. Earrings?

>> nonono

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?

>> preferred not.

35. Dimples?

>> dont bother

36. Bookworm?

>> dont bother

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?

>> no.

38. Playful?

>> not too playful.

39. Flirt?

>> preferred yes.

40. Poem writer?

>> no.

41. Serious?

>> sometimes

42. Campus crush?

>> dont bother

44. Religious?

>> not too religious. ill die.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?

>> no.

46. Computer games geek?

>> no.

47. Speaks 20 languages?

>> whoa no need

48. Loyal or faithful?

>> whats the difference?

49. Good kisser?

>> preferred yes. really preferred LOL

50. Loves children??

>> YES

songsongsong

2010-09-25T14:56:00.002+07:00

my favourite songs lately:

1. billy brown-MIKA

2. alors on danse-stromae (remixed version with kanye west)

3. a year without rain-selena gomez

4. like a G6-far east movement

5. brielle-sky sailing

6. peacock-katy perry

7. hummingbird heartbeat-katy perry

8. not like the movies-katy perry

9. love me-lena meyer

10. you lost me-christina aguilera

bruno mars

2010-09-25T00:38:00.004+07:00

just now my friend (call him buddy) and i had a conversation.

buddy: "emang kamu mau pacar model apa han?"

me: "seng kayak bruno mars. hahaha."

buddy: "wah, yo mimpio."

me: "......"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk

see that video and you'll know what i meant.

uuuuu teeeee esssss

2010-09-20T20:38:00.003+07:00

dengdengggggggg!

minggu depan saya UTS. damn.

monday would be UTS for GE, GPsy, and Gphi. 3 in a row. niceeeee.

GE's UTS is formed into a project. our class were divided per group 4 people. and we have to look for natives and do a casual interview with her/him. we can look for them in english courses, international schools, etc.

the first thing come out of my mind when i heard how the UTS would be was:

"how the hell could we do a casual conversation with someone we dont know at all?"

and the easiest asnwer is, we have to kiss ass.

yeah. kiss ass. we have to give something to her/him. as a gift.

and we have to meet her/him for several times before doing the recording of the conversation (yes the it must be recorded) to know her/him more. my lecturer said it needed to be done to make a friendlier environment.

anddddd we havent found any bule yet.

great.

the GPsy would be a test. im gonna die. i listened to the lecturer very well, when i wasnt sleeping.

the GPhi is a take-home-test. its open-book, but i saw the test questions and i know it will need days to finish it, considering the difficulty and the completeness of the answer needed to be.

fuhhhh ==

wish me luck, yes?

tumblrrrrrr

2010-09-19T18:33:00.007+07:00

just made my tumblr.

maybe u guys are wondering what the difference would be between the blogger and the tumblr's posts.

okay.

im gonna use this tumblr as my "tempat sampah" when im on a melancholic romantic philosophical blahblah mood, and the blogger's post is gonna be my diary, containing my daily activities and such :)

so, here it is:

http://hana-olivia.tumblr.com/

i know its still quite boring too see, since i havent written anything... got no inspirations yet. lol

just wanna let u know the address, thats all ;)

2010-09-18T15:19:00.007+07:00

“Friends are those rare people who

ask how we are and then wait to

hear the answer.”

i just never thought they were this rare.

iseng.

2010-09-17T15:14:00.004+07:00

1. Apa inisial nama lengkap kamu ?

> hah? H.O.

2. Buku apa yg kamu suka?

> trakhir2 ini cuma sempat baca buku2 kuliah. hikssss

3. Musik favorit kamu tuh jenis apa?

> jazz, rock, soul, accoustic, funk, trance

4. Benda-benda yg kamu bawa saat pergi?

> hp dompet permen payung (akhir2 ini ujan terus)

5. Angka yg kamu suka?

> 2

6. Hal yg buat kamu jengkel?

> ngliatin org yg gak nyambung2 pas diajak omg. ngliatin org yg sok.

7. Warna yg kamu benci?

> putih

8. Apa warna rambut kamu?

> item2 coklat

9. Adakah seseorang yg paling istimewa buat kamu? siapa?

> my lollipengs! no boys yet ;)

10. Zodiak kamu apa?

> leo

11. Tempat yg kamu suka tuh dimana?

> tergantung moodnya. kalo lg hepi2 ya tempat rame, kalo lg melankolis gt ya tempat yg sepi2 haha

12. Berapa cm tinggi kamu?

> 155,5 cm. damn

13. Kata yang sering kamu katakan?

> "astaga"

14. Apa yg kamu lakukan saat sedang bosan?

> nonton tv, blogging, browsing, doodling

15. Jam berapa kamu tidur malam?

> kalo weekdays jam 10an (takut telat) kalo weekend unpredictable

16. Kalo udah gede kamu pengen jadi apa?

> psychologist. teacher. pokonya bisa mandiri, ngidupin diri sendiri lahh

17. Hal yg sering kamu khayalin?

> wah. rahasia! haha

19. Tokoh anime kesukaan kamu?

> nggak ada. erhhhh. spongebob masuk anime nggak?

20. Bagian yg kamu suka pada tubuh kamu apa?

> mata!

21. Kamu tipe orang kayak gimana menurut teman-teman kamu?

> diem katanya. salah besar.

22. Orang yg sering kamu jailin?

> nggak ada... aku kan baik hati, g suka jailin orang :)

23. Kamu tidur sama siapa?

> sendirian lah. mo sama sapa

24. Banyakan makan, minum, apa jajan?

> minum

25. Paling nggak suka disuruh ngapain? siapa yg nyuruh?

> disuruh ngerubah sikap. sama siapapun.

26. Pernah ciuman?

> hoooooo. pernah.

27. Hal yg ingin kamu wujudkan untuk orang yg paling kamu sayang?

> tergantung orgnya ==

28. Paling ilfil liat orang ngapain?

> org sok penting

29. Siapa musisi yg kamu kagumi?

> beyonce

30. Musim favorit kamu musim apa?

> autumn. sayang di indo gk ada :(

31. Kamu benci dengan siapa?

> jangan di sini dong, kasian orgnya.

32. Bedcover kamu gambarnya apa?

> sapi2an sama binatang2 gitu.

33. Lagu yg selalu kamu dengarkan di mp3 kamu apa aja?

> misery-maroon 5

34. Baju yg kamu suka pakai pas keluar rumah?

> kaos gombor, clana pendek, crocs, tas jumbo

35. Tulis lyrics lagu yg mirip kisah hidup kamu!

> nggak ada yg mirip. my own life, my own song. nobody can ever feel how i feel about my life.

36. Kamu lagi pingin apa sekarang?

> pingin cepet2 nemuin bule buat wawancara trs pulang x(

37. Udah dulu ya ~!!

> iya iyaaa

gak mood. sedih.

2010-09-16T17:54:00.003+07:00

ive been in a very horrible mood these days.

i miss my buddies!

besides all the excitements in new places, and new people, i still can find no one to replace my lollipengs.

i was hoping this holiday we can gather somewhere nice like trawas or i dont know.. anywhere? but unfortunately we had a lot of other things to do :(

sooo, i end up spending my hols in batu with my family. it was nice, though im not in the mood for vacation.

ahh. pusing.

kangen semuanya. kangen cinta2ku. kangenn. hiks.

sebel soalnya jarang jalan2 lagi. jalan2 pun ada banyak org2 yg tidak diinginkan.

cih.

pengen kyk dulu lg. hiks :'(

pengen cepet2 desember, smuanya libur, smuanya pulang! februari juga, oka pulang!

pengen ke bali lagi sama kalian..

pengen ke singapore sama kalian! (ada yg minat? pengen lohhhh ehehehe)

aku juga ngerasa kesepian, somehow. yah, temen baru sih banyak. lucu2, asik2. tp tetep aja. mau ngobrol sampe gimana gitu kok susah rasanya. wajar nggak sih? ==

aku ngerasa kehilangan orang2 yg bisa diajak nggosip2, bisa diajak omong nglantur kmana2 tanpa takut dijelek2in, bisa dicurhatin...

pernah nggak sih kalian ngerasa kyk gitu?

apa cuma aku aja ya yg sok emosional?

huff :(

browsing result

2010-09-03T21:20:00.007+07:00

nice, eh? click on the picts if u wanna see clearer. they are some of the comic strips made by an indonesian guy.

funny, and sometimes filled with priceless reminders for us, human beings :)

wanna see more? go HERE

what's with the dyed hair?

2010-08-31T08:08:00.002+07:00

ive just seen pictures of my friend (well not really, i dont really know her -.-) who dyed her hair. not only her, but her friends also. and to be honest, they look like bimbo from jersey shore.

for those who dunno what the hell is jersey shore:

so, back to this friend.
she took a bunch of photos with her friends. with eyeliner, bold-painted nails, and flashy hair colors, they're acting sexy (which they are NOT) and mature (which they are NOT too).

its wayyyy different with how they were when in high school. they look cute, innocent and stuff. just like little white bunnies who know nothing.

GAHHHHHHHH! *omg i feel like im gonna punch their faces. (im sorry)*

i was like, what the hell. even the jersey girls look better than them.
the fact that u already finish high school doesnt make an excuse to put all the make up u have on ur face and dye ur hair with colors that can burn people's eyes. geez. mentang2 udah lulus dandannya ngalahin tante2 girang.

please, girls. jangan dandan abis2an kayak anjing giras yang baru dilepas dari kandang, mentang2 pas SMA g bole dandan. i know we get older but just be urself. jangan sok2an dandan kayak "cece2" if u r not like them, coz its embarrasing.

jangan malu2in diri sendiri, deh... mau udah buang duit banyak buat semir, make up, ini itu, tapi malah diketawain orang?

new laptop.

2010-08-29T18:11:00.002+07:00

yeah. saya dapat laptop baru.

ceritanya, sabtu pagi... ngantuk2... nonton tivi sambil tidur2an (maklum UC tiap sabtu libur, kayak surga deh rasanya) tiba2 ada bunyi klakson dari luar. rupanya, ayah saya tercinta sudah pulang main ping-pong.

sebagai anak yang baik dan tau diri, saya bukakan pagar rumah untuknya (secara gak ada pembantu gitu loh, adanya pembantu males yg lagi hamil-yg pastinya tambah males-dan dia pun belom dateng ==)

selesai memarkir mobil, sang ayah masuk ke dalam rumah, dan ta-da! ia membawa sebuah tas laptop. mata saya langsung melotot bagaikan ikan yg megap2 mau mati.

beliau bilang, "ini lo papa beli laptop."

ah, kayaknya sih dia kasian selama ini liat anak bungsunya gak bisa kerja tugas karna tidak punya laptop.

dia bilang sih itu laptop buat dia sendiri, tapi dia bilang mau di taruh di rumah. dan hal ini otomatis berarti ITU LAPTOP MILIK SAYA. MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

saya sih udah kepingin nangis2 sembah sujud sama ayah saya. tapi, dipikir2, wong dia yg ngrusakin laptopku dulu kok! ya sudah. operasi uraian air mata digagalkan.

dia bilang terus2an, "itu laptop papa butuh, makanya papa beli."

saya cuma tertawa.

rupanya, sang ayah tak mau mengakui rasa bersalah terhadap anaknya tercinta ini.

jadi, sekali lagi,

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

pregnancy.

2010-08-27T15:27:00.003+07:00

MY SISTER IS FINALLY PREGNANT! woohoo!

yeah now the infant is about 6 weeks or so.

it clearly brings joy to our family, but.... my sister is suffering.

she throws up A LOT. she cant eat. she cant sleep. her stomach is like a non-stop-swirling-roller-coaster. and she cant get up from her bed coz the doctor doesnt allow her to. and the worse part is it will happen to all of us (girls) when we're pregnant. omg.

i only see my sister and i already freak out. fortunately it only happens 3 first months of pregnancy. fiuh. hope i can survive more than that == i mean, can u imagine, sitting, sleeping, eating in ur bed for 3 whole months? no malls, no restaurants, no movies, no hang outs.....

gahhh just thinking about it makes me dizzy. but one day we all must sacrifice, right? for the cute little baby we're gonna have! lol

oh, well. good luck my beloved sis! may you and your precious little one will be all right at all time :)))

sleepy head.

2010-08-23T12:57:00.002+07:00

here i am, on campus, on the canteen to be exact.

headache. maag. yawning all the time.

waiting for the next class, philosophy.

arhh.

senangnya!

2010-08-19T17:38:00.002+07:00

besok gak ada tugaaaaasss! (well ada se tp mek ngarang2 gak jelas gitu so very very easy)

hmmm. my college life (can i call it 'college'? coz it sounds cooler than 'university' hope thats okay..) has been really, really hectic. seriously. im dying here. goshhh.

i was very excited to live my college life but it turns out KILLING ME.

lots and lots and lots and lots of task.

cruel schedule.

new environtment.

new rules.

new kids.

new douchebags.

meh.

im gonna die.

but its okay, since ive met new friends and all. they're nice and sooo funny! 2 of them are from makassar, yea they remind me of oka a lil bit. heheh.

the lecturers are fine too. they're nice. except for the statistics lecturer. she sucks to the bottom of the ground. sucks sucks sucks.

in psychology, i get to study philosophy. im quite fascinated with the lectures. its complicated, yet really interesting. i guess im easily attracted to complicated things ==

thats all from today, i gotta get ready to hang out with my buddies (YEAA AT LASTT!)

101st post!

2010-08-12T09:37:00.003+07:00

it reminds me of dalmation.

ahh this is sooooo random ==

dunno what else to write. so exhausted with school and other stuff. dont have time to rest. gahhhh.

I WANNA SEE MY HIGH SCHOOL BUDDIES!!!!
miss them like hell.

mannnnn im frustated.

==

birthday.

2010-08-05T10:53:00.002+07:00

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

my birthday has been great. although not as merry as it used to be.

the worse parts are:
1. one friend (whose birthday i remember clearly) didnt say happy bday to me. i think he forgot. :(
2. i cant see my besties on that day bcos i was busy with school. and the were busy too.
3. mojo has gone to jakarta that day.
4.there's no oka, bano, and ari in surabaya.

the better parts are:
1. i got very nice gifts from my brother n sister-in-law and also my dad. yes, my dad. first i thought he wouldnt even say happy bday to me, but instead, he said "happy birthday.." and he gave me angpao. its not the angpao that i was delighted for. its when he said, "sini, cium pipi papa." i wanted to cry. i was sooooo happy that he was grateful of my birth. i was so happy he doesnt regret raising me.
2. i made new friends in the shuttle bus ive been using to go to the campus.
3. there are A LOT of friends (who i never thought would care to congratulate me) say happy bday to me! i was like, woww.
4. i felt a little low on the start of the day, but it ends perfectly :)

thx for everyone who said happy bday to me! it made my day :D

anyway, im eighteen now. at last, i can go clubbing legally! MUAHAHAHAHAHA. *evil laugh*

no la. im not that addicted to clubbing. im still an innocent little angel 0 :-)
hahahahahahahahaha
okay im gonna stop. im goin crazy already.
bubyeeee.

KULIAH.

2010-08-03T08:25:00.002+07:00

saya sudah jadi mahasiswa! hahahaha senangnyaaaa

anyway, u have no idea what ive been learning sampe sekarang.
aku belajar NAIK BEMO yang baik dan benar.
aku belajar FILOSOFI (keren abissss)
aku belajar BERHEMAT

i have a friend, u see. and she's not as nice as i thought she is. and im stuck with her for 4 years. im scared that she'll distract me from what i want to learn. im scared i'll somehow listen to what she says (and what she says is more or less unimportant, distracting, making people lazy and all that)

what im trying to say is i just dont fit in her life. i dont want to be friends with her new friends, i mean, they're just like her! i want to leave her. make new friends, without her.

on the other hand, i dont want to hurt her. i dont want to be seemed as a person who takes advantages of people and then leave. no.

what should i do? =.=

:'(

2010-07-30T19:34:00.001+07:00

who are these strangers living in my house?

or is it me who is one?

hari ini aku kabur dari rumah.

2010-07-16T19:45:00.002+07:00

YA ENGGAK LAHHHHH.

nyaris, sih. maksudnya seharian gituuuu peginyaaaaa. g pulang2 dr pagi sampe malem! haha.

pagi td jam 7 udh brkt ke rmh sammy tersayang, soalnya dia ultah! jd aku, ss, dimas, cikd, cath, mega, jojo, rider, presel, sama ari ngasi surprise dehhh.

trs, abis cebur2an di kolam renangnya sammy, kita kelaparan. akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk sarapan yg sedikit mewah. wuakakakaka. di garden palace. lumayaaaaannn. mantab dim sum nya. wkwkwkwk. pas pertama2 anak2 ngajakin aku g mau ikut... abis lg bokekkkk. secara lah ya, garden palace kan g murah gitu (maklum lg tengkar ma papa, masa mau minta uang hahahah) tapi, ya sutrah lah. masa bodo. pikirku sih, mau pinjem uang anak2 dulu. eeeeehhhh ternyata dibayarin sama si birthday girl! top markotop. thx ya sammyyyyyy :DDD

abis dari garden palace, kita bingung mau ngapain. dimas bilang ntn dvd aja, di rmh sammy. tp berhubung sammy gk punya dvd yg bagus2, kita pergi ke delta (cikd udh pulang sih ini..). di delta kita malah foto2. dasar org2 katrokk. wakakakakak. tp dvdnya akhirnya nemu sih. beli 4 biji. lupa judulnya apa aja... murah lho! cuma 6.500 rupiah. di surabaya itu udh murah bgt lhooo.

pas nyampe rumah sammy, kita udh pada ngantuk. yah, maklum, bangunnya jam 6 pagi tadi! hehe. akhirnya dimas sama presel mau nyebur kolam lagi. biar gk ngantuk, katanya. akhirnya tinggal aku, rider, sammy, sama ss yg ntn dvd, soalnya mega jojo cath udh pulaaang. ehhhh baru 5 menit filmnya maen, si ss ktiduran. wkwkwkwk.

jam 4 sorean gitu, kita udh pada pingin pulang. capek... hahahaha. kasian rmhnya sammy jd berantakan gara2 kita2 seharian nongkrong di situ. heheheh. maap ya, mbak yg bersiin kotorannya.. maap ya, sam...

pulang2, nyampek rumah rencananya sih mau tidur. tp gk bisaaaa! hadahhh. pdhl kmrn itu aku tidur jam 4 pagi! jd diitung2 aku cuma tidur 2 jam td malem. haisshh. ntar malem mesti tidur pagi! biar nggak sakitt.

oh ya. aku kangen sama temen2 yg udh pegi ke luar negri. juga sama yg udh pada masuk kuliah. ospek segala macem. :( krasa lama bgt lho g ktemu mreka.... hiks.

udh ah. mau ntn tv dulu sambil makan semangka cuy. asoy.

daaaaaahhhhh :D

dont know what to say.

2010-07-14T15:14:00.009+07:00

okay. i havent been able to open the internet these 3 days. im frustated. fortunately i worked everything out and ta-da! here i am.

anyway, why couldnt i open the internet before? why? why?

well, bcos my dad crushed my lappie. literally. he banged it to the floor. six times. (yes i counted. with a broken heart.)
*sob*

yeah. last sunday, we got into a fight coz i didnt open my house' gate when he was coming home. the truth is, i didnt hear him bcos i set my lappie too loud. and he (with anger) opened the gate himself and when he was inside, he saw my in front of my lovely lappie smiling and saying hello to him. he was furious, and suddenly he was shouting about how he has been working really hard for this family but gets nothing from it. how he cant get married and have a life bcos of me. how ive been CARELESS to my family. how ive been SELFISH. he said im worse than a dog. he said, at least a dog gets mad when someone hurt their master (and he thinks i dont), and he said i will only feel happy when he's SUFFERING. he said i didnt respect him at all. he said he would have moved out this house if my cousins hadnt come (yes, my cousins were about to come to my house to watch the FIFA together.) and two minutes later he took my lappie from the desk and crushed it to the floor. yeah.

all that time i was just sitting. thinking. am i really that cruel in my daddy's eyes? cos i never even thought about doing that to my father. well, if it is to my brother, maybe. but to my father? i love him. i do. how could he think that way of me?

and i never forbid him to marry somebody else. i dont mind. ever! even if my daddy has to live in somebody else's home and not in mine, i dont mind! its not me who doesnt agree when you said you were getting married, pa. who am i to be blamed? i always said i will agree everything that makes you happy. dont you remember?

im not sad about my lappie. im sad bcos of what my daddy said. its too hurtful. the words he said are still spinning in my head. now, i dont know wether he's still mad at me or not, i dont know if he's willing to look me in the eyes like nothing has happend, i dont know, but i still cant face him. im scared, im sad, im overwhelmed, im disappointed, i regret. those feelings mixed up all together. it feels so bad.

my aunt knew what happen, so she knocked into my room. i was sleeping (when i get stressed i sleep. its kind of a habit.) i woke up, i opened the door and she asked me was everything okay. i said no. i told her what my dad said. i told her i nearly went mad. im scared to death. she tried to calmed me down. she said parents would regret what they've done after they get mad at their children. parents would think at night how rude and brutal they were before.

well. would you, pa? would you regret? :'(

i'm single and very very happy :D :P

2010-07-11T00:58:00.001+07:00

Mereka bilang aku pemilih dan kesepian

Terlalu keras menjalani hidup

Beribu nasehat dan petuah yang diberikan

Berharap hidupku bahagia

Aku baik-baik saja

Menikmati hidup yang aku punya

Hidupku sangat sempurna

I’m single and very happy

Mengejar mimpi-mimpi indah

Bebas lakukan yang aku suka

Berteman dengan siapa saja

I’m single and very happy

Mereka bilang sudah saatnya karena usia

Untuk mencari sang kekasih hati

Tapi ku yakin akan datang pasangan jiwaku

Pada waktu dan cara yang indah

I’m single and very happy

Waktu terus berjalan

Tak bisa ku hentikan

Ku inginkan yang terbaik untukku

single happy-oppie andariesta

wow!

2010-07-09T11:14:00.003+07:00

i got an award! this is really the first time, so eventhough its not that fancy and all, it is really nice to have. HAHAHA. im really happy :)

this award is from my blog-buddy, ciLinwonderland.

thank u!

HIGH SCHOOL

2010-06-30T20:18:00.006+07:00

my father used to say, high school is the best times in our life.

but sadly, it ends.

from now on, since we've graduate, we've survived, we're not gonna see each other as often as before.

we are separated.

to different universities. different cities. different countries.

we say goodbyes.

but saying it doesnt mean we'll never meet each other again. does it?

gonna miss u guys so.

gonna keep our memories. promise i will never forget them.

we may not know how the future will be. how WE will be.

but im sure, our friendship will work out through distance and time.

wishing the best for my brothers and sisters.

lazy saturdayyy

2010-06-26T17:53:00.005+07:00

i decided not to go anywhere with my friends today even tough it saturday.

why? well of course its bcos the tension which is happening between me and some of my friends. i dont like them, and i dont feel comfortable with them. do you want to waste 3 hours of your precious weekend puckering my lips and squinting your eyes, being upset and really ugly? no, you dont. and me neither.

anyways, i think its time to choose who's friend and who's not. and since some of them are not respecting me the way i want to be respected, i know who are the guys im gonna throw away in a trash can.

ha! back to topic. if im not going anywhere today, what am i gonna do?

well my plan is, im gonna sit in front of my lappie and play some games. i also wanna watch the dvds i bought but never been watched. and the last but not least, im gonna take care of my dad bcos he's sick. he's so nice when he's sick, its like he's all healthy without any of his scold or grumble. sooo yeah, im gonna be nice too.

wew, so many things to do, eh?

well, then. i better get started.

OHMIGOD.

2010-06-26T01:27:00.002+07:00

next time i go to trawas with my buddies, i swear I WONT USE THE YELLOW PILLOW. ill bring my own pillow along if i have to.

why?

COS MY EX WORE IT!

no, no just kidding la. im gonna wash it first ;p

blog baru!

2010-06-25T11:08:00.002+07:00

HEIIII.

temanku tercinta floren baru bikin blog lho!

here!

how could you?

2010-06-25T10:02:00.004+07:00

if u said u dont wanna be friends with me bcos im harsh and you're so SENSITIVE, well dear u shouldve known me better. you were my best friend. we were friends, for years for God's sake. i cant believe u said that about me! i dont know what you covering up from me or anybody else, but that is really unacceptable. its yourself who rejected me on the first place. i passed by and tried to say hello you said nothing. i tried to be nice to you but you didnt! suddenly you're gone just like that. and the worst part is YOU SAID THINGS IVE NEVER DONE! if one of us is harsh it should be you! boy, you are one friggin asshole. i cant believe i was glad to be your best friend. i cant believe i respected you. thinking that you were smart and awesome and all that. geez. it turns out that youre nothing. i regret how ive been thinking you're one of only few people who can understand me. i completely have no idea of who you are right now. im okay if you dont feel uncomfortable with me. im fine. but if you are saying that im harsh, mannn dont you have a mirror? LOOK AT YOURSELF PLEASE! you're not so kind yourself. i hate men looking for excuses, saying that he's right and the others are wrong. if there's a problem, just simply say it! that's HOW BEST FRIENDS DO! not babbling about the other's fault or blaming each other! im really disappointed in you. i never thought youre gonna do this to me. i thought you are mature, and think before you speak. and the truth, which hurts me A LOT, is that you're not. you dont. and you think i have a sharp mouth and you cant stand it. well thanks a lot.

blogwalkingggg

2010-06-24T11:51:00.003+07:00

i was blogwalking when i found these...

check out this video ( found from this blog):

and i also find this blog. its owned by a Singaporean awards-winner-blogger. her name is XIA XUE. quite funny and entertaining. so bold and brave. the story of how she made this blog is quite amazing. here.

its me.

2010-06-23T14:12:00.004+07:00

the fact that im not brainy doesnt make me dumb.

the fact that i love to have fun doesnt make me clueless of a word called consequences.

the fact that im fierce doesnt make me disrespect others.

the fact that i love wearing make ups doesnt make me a whore.

the fact that i love to meet new people doesnt make me throw my old pals away.

the fact that i have a lot of friends doesnt make me look down on others who dont.

the fact that i live my life doesnt make me never go through the hard times.

the fact that i love trance and alcohols doesnt make me disgusted by classic music and a hot cup of tea. (im allergic to alcohols anyway =.=)

if you guys think im a girl who is wild and never cares about her future..

a girl who doesnt wanna work hard to achieve her dreams..

a girl who only waits for mr.right to live..

YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG.

i know my priority.

i know my boundaries.

i know how i live and i love it.

you can hate me if you want. i dont mind.

i am unwritten baby ;]

2010-06-22T00:10:00.001+07:00

here's an old song, but still my favorite. love it. just heard it and it boosted my mood just in seconds :)

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

unwritten-natasha bedingfield

have nothing to say :X

2010-06-20T22:07:00.005+07:00

i really want to update this boring old blog, but unfortunately i have absolutely nothing to say. ive searched on everything that i can write about, but still nothing.

im in a really bad mood today, it seemed that God has been punishing me.

ahhhhhh.. i desperately need a lot of good books, rain, silence, and a good cup of coffee.

need to calm myself down, isolate myself from this hell ive been living.

need to dream, just one more time. a sweet one.

repost

2010-06-20T13:47:00.004+07:00

from cecilia's blog :)

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

24

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
for me? failing. yes, im a coward.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
believe me its not that simple.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
maybe..

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
the human -agree.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

psychologist, archeologist, teacher

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
no. but im trying.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

not gonna waste my time for school. travel around the world, experience everything i can experience. work on anything i love to work on. try everything i can try. do everything! :D

9. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
doing things right. cos what is right for myself is not always right to other people.

10. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
laugh along and tell them how blind they are. and i will promise myself not to have lunch with them ever again.

11. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
yes

12. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
most of the time yes

13. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
my way of thinking. my standards.

14. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
simple. people are different.

15. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?
move out from this house.

16. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
no

17. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
england or US. just love the life there. so free.

18. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
i dont believe it but sometimes i do that just to comfort myself. haha

19. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
joyful simpleton. keep it simple and ill die happy.

20. Why are you, you?
because this is how my family raised me, how my friends shaped me, and how myself improvising.

21. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
no. ive done something wrong to one of my besties and im really sorry :(

22. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
losing touch with a good friend who lives right near me. it doesnt feel good. ive been there.

23. What are you most grateful for?
my friends.

24. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

never be able to make new ones.

25. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
yes

26. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
not yet

27. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
yes, and no.

28. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
forgot. i got too worried about my future i cant remember my past :(

29. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
my last bali vacation.

30. If not now, then when?
i dont know.

31. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
time - agree. again.

32. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
no.

33. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
its not about the religions. its about the religious people who go nuts.

34. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
of course. when i were younger, it all were so clear, but now i've seen everything in gray. - AGREE!

35. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
depends.

36. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
more work i actually enjoy doing.

37. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
yes

38. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
wont visit anyone. ill die first.

39. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
NO.

40. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
being alive is when you are breathing. truly living is also being alive, only happier.

41. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
when im stressed out. lol

42. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

mistake sucks. thats why.

43. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

errhhhh. now?

44. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
no. no. no. my days recently have been BORING.

45. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
depends on what decisions they are.

aneh.

2010-06-13T22:13:00.003+07:00

today i went to a wedding party. usually, the hosts (brides and grooms) give the guests some kinda souvenirs, right?

well the souvenir for this party is a bit... unique, shall i say?

yea..... im not kidding about the left one.

they're giving a shoe-shaped-ashtray and a pack of cigarettes. yes, cigarettes.

during the party i couldnt stop wondering why, oh why the hosts would even think about giving cigarettes to their guests, on their WEDDING PARTY.

well i can understand if that was a bachelor party (like there is any in indonesia.. =.=), or at least a birthday party, or anything but a (ill say it again) WEDDING PARTY!

my best guess was the hosts felt that the ashtray is not gonna be used if they didnt include any cigars on their souvenir package.

what do you think?

GIBOL.

2010-06-12T09:39:00.004+07:00

last night i went to oka's house to watch the opening of FIFA world cup.

we were too late to see the opening so we only watched the game. south africa vs mexico.

dimas, rawon, and HW while mexico almost score a goal

it was quite tense. and fun. haha. some of us support mexico, but the others were betting for south africa. everytime the players kicking for a goal we shout and scream. bano gave a lot of crazy comments about the game. one of them is, "hado wong afrika iki wes dipangani jerapah tapi yo sek gak iso maen!" we laughed and laughed.

i think this is the best game ive ever watched. it will never be fun without my buddies. these are the best times to bond, cos we're all gonna be apart soon. ahhhh how i hope high school would never ends..

by the way, im not gonna accompany oka to the airport when she's going to aussie bcos i'll be in hongkong when she's departed. im really, really disappoited :'(

saw it on mojo's tumblr. again.

2010-06-10T00:23:00.007+07:00

001. Name: Hana Olivia
002. Nickname(s): Han, Na, Jeruk
003. Status: Single
004. Zodiac sign: Leo
005. Male or female: Female
006. Elementary School: Petra 11 Elementary School, Surabaya
007. Middle School: Petra 1 SHS
008. High School: Petra 1 JHS
009. Smart: in some ways, maybe.
010. Hair color: brownish black?
011. Tall or short: short. quite.
012. Loud or Quiet: quiet. only loud when have to.
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans.
014. Phone or Camera: both!
015. Health freak: nope.
016. Drink or Smoke: drink occasionally. no smoking.
017. Do you have a crush on someone: ah. this question again.
018. Eat or Drink: both duh!
019. Piercings: yea
020. Tattoos: once, temporary one, about 3 years ago. but it wont get off until now.
021. Foods you dislike: errrrrr. i like everything nice to eat. heehee
022. Right or left-handed: Right.

FIRSTS:
023. First Piercings: earlobes
024. First best friend: melani
025. First award: dancing (i know its unbelievable)
026. First crush: hmmmm a guy named phillip HAHAHAHA
027. First pet: goldfish. i named it "momo"
028. First big vacation: china?
029. First concert: planet shakers
030. First big birthday: 5th bday
031. First big fight: with my big brother.
032. First sport: football. LOL.
033. First enemy: forgot. putri? ah. forgot.
034. First phobia: crowd
035. First celebrity idol: joshua
036. First clique: ?
037. First bad impression: meh.

CURRENTLY:
038. Eating: -
039. Drinking: -
040. Listening to: people on tv chattering
041. About to: yawn
042. Waiting for: nothing to wait for.
043. Wearing: pyjamas
044. Worried about: my future
045. Loving: my best friends
046. Missing: you
047. Planning for today: go to siena's house. have fun.

FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND:
048. College: scary. insecure.
049. Silk: fabric
050. Cupid: pink!
051. Pickle: jar
052. Penny: england
053. Stop: traffic light
054. 777: lucky number?
055. Guam: hoam..?
056. Banana: yellow
057. Debt: money

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids: of course.
059. Want to get married: duh.
060. Careers in mind: HRD. making my own business.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE DESIRED SEX?
061. Lips or eyes: eyes
062. Hugs or kisses: hugs
063. Shorter or taller: taller
064. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous
065. Nice stomach or nice arms: arms
066. Sensitive or loud: both
067. Hook-up or relationship: hook-up for now. relationship maybe later.
068. Older or younger: older
069. Richer or poorer: cant it be the same? not richer. not poorer.
070. Smart or witty: both please
071. Trouble maker or hesitant: SMART trouble maker
072. High maintenance or plain: NOT SO high maintenance
073. Glasses or contacts: both is fine
074. Rigid or moody: average
075. Lots of friends or no friends: Lots of friends

HAVE YOU EVER:
076. Kissed a stranger: no
077. Lost glasses/contacts: yes
078. Forgotten a password: yes
079. Blacked out: yes
080. Broken someone’s heart: i dont know. think so, but dont know.
081. Been arrested: no
082. Seen a monster: no
083. Ran away from home: no
084. Felt like dying: yes
085. Killed an animal: yes
086. Cheated: yes
087. Cried when someone died: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
088. God: YES
089. Yourself: now, not really
090. Miracles: yes
091. Love at first sight: no
092. Heaven: yes
093. Santa Claus: no
094. Fairies: no
095. Kiss on the first date: no
096. Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now: yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life: no
099. Is Superman really better than Batman: at least superman can fly...
100. Re-post?: already did. see?

why does it feel so hard to climb? :'(

2010-06-08T19:35:00.004+07:00

I can almost see it

That dream I’m dreaming but

There’s a voice inside my head sayin,

You’ll never reach it,

Every step I’m taking,

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

but I

Got to keep trying

Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain

I’m always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,

Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side

It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,

The chances I’m taking

Sometimes they knock me down but

No I’m not breaking

The pain I’m knowing

But these are the moments that

I’m going to remember most yeah

Just got to keep going

And I,

I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on,

There’s always going to be another mountain

I’m always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,

Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side

It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain

I’m always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,

Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side

It’s the climb

Keep on moving

Keep climbing

Keep the faith baby

It’s all about

The climb

Keep the faith

Keep your faith...

being a true geek.

2010-06-04T17:22:00.002+07:00

ive been staring at my lappie for about 10 hours until now. how great is that? thanks God im wearing my glasses instead of contact lenses.

speaking of contact lenses....

mine has ripped.

how? well thanks to my laziness to take out my contact lenses everytime i go to sleep, my contact lenses which could have been used for 6 months now gone. in just 2 months. haha. you contact lenses users must know what im talking about.

errrhhhh.. i havent post anything about bali, have i?

yeah, im just too lazy to do it. too many things to write. too many places to tell. too many words to say. heheeeee :D

by the way i had fun. like, SO MUCH FUN there!

it may be the best vacation in my life.

love my buddies. altough there are some people that i dislike joining the trip, but its still great :)

hoping that all of us could go for another exciting trip next time *praying*

oh crap.

2010-06-01T22:25:00.005+07:00

i hate this moment.

when i desperately miss my school life.

when i still want to stay in BALI.

when i'm not gonna see my best buddies as often as before.

when i realized that youre so far apart :(

saw this on mojo's tumblr.

2010-05-31T19:01:00.002+07:00

ENLARGE the things you’ve done

I have read a lot of books.
I have been on some sort of varsity team.
I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
I have been to Canada.
I have been to Europe.
I have watched cartoons for hours.
I have tripped UP the stairs.
I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
I have been snowboarding/skiing.
I have played ping pong.
I swam in the ocean.
I have been on a whale watch.
I have seen fireworks.
I have seen a shooting star.
I have seen a meteor shower.
I have almost drowned.
I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
I have listened to one CD over & over & over again.
I have had stitches.
I have had frostbite.
I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
I have stayed up till 2 doing homework/projects. And longer.
I currently have a job.
I have been ice skating.
I have been rollerblading.
I have fallen flat on my face.
I have tripped over my own two feet.
I have been in a fist fight.
I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
I have watched the power rangers.
I attend Church regularly.
I have played truth or dare.
I have already had my 16th birthday.
I have already had my 17th birthday.
I’ve called someone stupid.
I’ve been in a verbal argument.
I’ve cried in school.
I’ve played basketball on a team.
I’ve played baseball on a team.
I’ve played football on a team.
I’ve played soccer on a team.
I’ve done cheerleading on a team.
I’ve played softball on a team.
I’ve played volleyball on a team.
I’ve played tennis on a team.
I’ve been on a track or cross country team.
I’ve been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
I’ve bungee jumped.
I’ve climbed a rock wall.
I’ve lost more than $20.
I’ve called myself an idiot.
I’ve called someone else an idiot.
I’ve cried myself to sleep.
I’ve had pets.
I’ve owned a spice girls CD.
I’ve owned a britney spears CD.
I’ve owned an N*Sync CD.
I’ve owned a backstreet boys CD.
I’ve mooned someone.
I have sworn at someone of authority before.
I‘ve been in the newspaper.
I’ve been on TV.
I’ve been to Hawaii.
I’ve eaten sushi.
I’ve been on the other side of a waterfall.
I’ve watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
I’ve watched all the Harry Potter movies.
I’ve watched all of the Rocky movies.
I’ve watched the 3 stooges.
I’ve watched “Newlyweds” Nick & Jessica.
I’ve watched Looney Tunes.

I’ve been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.
I’ve been called a geek.
I’ve studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
I’ve not studied at all for a test and aced it.
I’ve hugged my mom within the past 24 hours.
I’ve hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
I’ve met a celebrity/music artist.
I’ve written poetry.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve been attracted to someone much older than me.
I’ve been tickled till I’ve cried.
I’ve tickled someone else until they cried.
I’ve had/have siblings.
I’ve been to a rock concert.
I’ve listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve been picked last in gym class.
I’ve been picked first in gym class.
I’ve been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
I’ve cried in front of my friends.
I’ve read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
I’ve played Halo 2.
I’ve freaked out over a sports game.
I’ve been to Alaska.
I’ve been to China.
I’ve been to Spain.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve had a fight with someone on an IM.
I’ve had a fight with someone face-to-face.
I’ve had serious conversations using IM.
I’ve forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
I’ve been forgiven.
I’ve screamed at a scary movie.
I’ve cried at a chick flick.
I’ve watched a lot of action movies.
I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs.
I’ve been to a rap concert.
I’ve been to a hip hop concert.
I’ve lived in more than 2 houses.
I’ve driven on the highway/been on the highway.
I’ve driven more than 400 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 400 miles in a day
I’ve been in a car accident.
I’ve done drugs.
I’ve been homesick.
I’ve thrown up.
I’ve puked on someone.
I’ve been horseback riding.
I’ve filled out more than 10 myspace surveys.
I’ve spoken my mind in public.
I’ve proved someone wrong.
I’ve been proven wrong by someone.
I’ve broken a leg.
I’ve broken an arm.
I’ve fallen off a swing.
I’ve swung on a swing for more than 30 mins straight.
I’ve watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
I’ve forgotten my backpack when I’ve gone to school.
I’ve lost my backpack.
I’ve come close to dying.
I’ve seen someone die.
I’ve known someone who has died.
I’ve wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.
I’ve done modeling.
I’ve forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
I’ve taken something/someone for granted.
I’ve realized how good my life is.
I’ve counted my blessings.
I’ve made fun of a classmate.
I’ve been asked out by someone and I said no.
I’ve slapped someone in the face.
I’ve been skateboarding.
I’ve been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
I’ve lied to someone to their face.
I’ve told a little white lie.
I’ve taken a day off from school just so I don’t go insane.
I’ve fainted.
I’ve had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
I’ve pushed someone into a pool.
I’ve been pushed into a pool.

well, my life isnt so dull after all.

2010-05-30T00:37:00.004+07:00

10 things about myself:

i love to tell people everything i know. some people think im cocky, but i dont mean to. im sorry :(
have a huge tolerance, especially for my friends and family.
born in surabaya, living in surabaya.
love being alone.
prefer simplicity than glamourous things.
interested in anything philosophycal.
easily attracted to smart men.
love playing the sims
pissed off when somebody told me what i have to do. i know what im doing.
was a tomboy until senior high.

9 things I see right now:

my PC
my headset
my camera
modem
pen
calculator
paper stars
calendar
printer

8 songs I can’t stop listening to:

i speak no americano
change-carrie underwood
omg-usher
hello, i love you-glee cast
hello-glee cast
one love-david guetta
memories-david guetta
airplanes II-B.O.B

5 things that cross my mind a lot:

my happiness
headache, maag
my future career
hotel city and happy island (my facebook games lol)
friends and family

3 biggest celebrity crushes:

david henrie
justin bieber HAHA

3 things I’m currently addicted to:

facebook
music
scenery

3 TV shows you’ve seen every episode of:

glee

2 things I want to do before I die.

staying abroad with my own money when im retiring
having a great family

Your dream future:

Job - businesswoman, teacher
City - new york
Car - hybrid
Pet - dogs.

i just want people to see me as a person.

2010-05-29T23:12:00.003+07:00

there's a lot of people these days who see me as a girl, not a person.

they measure me from how beautiful i am.

how much i weight.

how great is my make up and fashion sense.

how cute and girly i am.

oo yea they do. even some of them are my good friends. or i thought they are.

today i went to karaoke with some friends. when we were going home, i walked and said goodbye to my friends without seeing a table beside me. i hit it, and nearly fell. someone beside me saw and laugh. i didnt mind. i dont care what people think about me. what stabbed me is the words that came out from my friend's mouth "eh, eh, liaken ta han, kon diguyu kon." and then, she laughed. i just laughed along bcos i dont know what else to say.

when we got on the elevator, she told all of my friends about what happened. the others didnt laugh, and im glad they didnt. she continued telling his boyfriend the story and he said, "iyo, wong e ngguyu nontok babi kape ciblok." and they laughed. again.

i dont know why exactly i was mad in a sudden, but i just did.

i nearly fell and she didnt even ask me if i was okay. instead, she laughed at me.

i was so confused. what is she thinking about me? who does she think i am?

a fat pig?

the hitting accident left a bleeding scar on my thigh. but what she said hurts more.

im sad. now i can see, who are my truly best friends. they are the ones who didnt laugh. they are the ones who were confused. they were the ones who looked at me with a strange gaze, wondering why i did.

i laughed at my stupidity, my disappointment. im preety sure i wouldnt have to be angry if i hadnt assume that they're worth enough to be my friends.

on my way home, i realized something.

sometimes we, people, measure others only by the things we see. we dont care about what else inside.

we dont think how they feel when we do that. its hurting them.

maybe im not that nice and all. im not that smart. im not that brave. i dont do anything great and impressive. but im sure ive got something. something else than whatever those so called friends measure me by.

yes,

the fat pig has spoken.

2010-05-20T07:53:00.002+07:00

packing.. packing...

why???

coz tomorrow : BALI!

yayyyyyyyyyyyy! :D

one week full of fun at last! soooooo exciteddddd!

paradise, here we come!

2010-05-18T20:58:00.007+07:00

hahhhhhh... segarnyaaaaaaaaaaaa...

abis renang cuy! heheee.

renang di puri biru, baru member di sana. tempatnya agak sepi, jd asik kalo renang.. sendirian. bisa sambil nglamun2. HAHA.

oh ya. btw, td malem aku mimpi MANTANKU. hoek.

ceritanya, lg ada acara di sekolahku.. kyk outbond gitu... pake baju bebas.

nah, kalo outbond kan bawaannya pasti banyak, baju lah, sabun dll (soalnya acaranya dr pagi sampek malem gitu, ceritanya..)

nah.. pas itu aku jalan di koridor, trs ada si mantan di belakangku, bawain barang2ku..

trs aku ktemu irda.. dia kaget.

"lho, han?! km mbalik lg mb dee ta?!"

terus...

aku jawab,

"iya. takjadikno babu. lumayan lah."

WUAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK.

pas aku bangun, sensi juga sih. abis org itu nggak pantes dimimpiin. tp ada senengnya juga, babu gitu lho. huahahahaha.

aku kok jadi takut ya, soalnya baru2 ini aku doa minta pacar, yg sesuai sama kriteriaku. wakakakaka. yah, maklum, kapok jatuh cintrong sama yg aneh2! dannn tau2 aku mimpi ginian. serem kan... ckckckck.

God, please! aku gak mau pacaran sama orang kayak dia lagi!

2010-05-16T01:03:00.001+07:00

i saw on FANNY's blog about the colour quiz. its fun. heehee.

here is the result:

Hana Olivia took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

""If motivated, she will easily and quickly learn n..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

2010-05-15T23:55:00.007+07:00

today i watched ROBIN HOOD.

its a very COOL movie, so...

i took my cellphone and typed down everything that came into my mind while i was watching it.

anyway, here they are:

"do horses throw up?"

"russel crowe is kinda hot..."

"bastards will pay. OH YES they will."

"ayoooooooooo menangoooooooooo!!!!"

(yes, it is dumb and useless.)

well here's a few wiser thoughts:

"a great journey makes a great man."

"the smart ones in a movie is the ones who are conscious and dramatically thinking about something when the others are happy and drunk."

my father was like, "what the hell is she doing?" when he saw me typing on my cell. i found it very funny somehow...

am i crazy ?

hmmm. i wonder...

what's up with the colourful fonts?

2010-05-10T00:45:00.002+07:00

some people asked me why suddenly i changed my style of writing on this blog.

well here are the reasons:

1. i found my blog is very, very dull and colourless. its boring and plain.

2. the posts in my blog lately have been really sad and full of anger, so i want to show people that im okay now. im fine. im a strong person, you know. and everything is all right, too.

3. i saw some of my friends' blog and compared to theirs, my blog is sooooo ugly.

4. i simply need to see more colours in my life :D

weekend report (wuahhh lama g nulis ini haha)

2010-05-09T23:48:00.003+07:00

soo. friday.

i went to my dad's office at the morning. with my dad, of course. at the afternoon we were so bored so we decided to go to pasar atum. we bought a lot of snacks such as sweets, biscuits, waffles, etc. no wonder ive been sooo fat these days == at night (around 9.30) i went to mercure hotel and stay there for the night. why?

coz saturday was my brother's wedding. he's married to a lovely young lady, JAQUELINE PRISKILA HALSAMER and it was held there. i need to get up early (i mean really really early, like 4 AM) to get ready, bcos there are so many things to do. so i woke up, took a bath, got my face made up, put some action in my brother's video shooting :p, went to church (pemberkatan nikah), retouched the make up, and rehearsing for the entrance for the wedding party, and mingling with the guests until the end of the party. everybody's there, so i need to be friendly to everyoneee.

i had a lot of fun coz i can be with ce jaquline's brothers and sisters, they're really nice and fun to be with. there are naftalia (ce lia), gersom (som hahaha), george (nyo), and gilbert (ebet).

after everything that night i got soooooooooooooo tired.

my feet hurts. a lotttt. it got red and swollen.

my hair smelled like HAIRSPRAY. Goddd i wonder how many bottles of hairspray has been used for my hair. i washed it twice and it still smells. until now.

my eyes were so heavy bcos of the lack of sleeping, and the huge amount of fake eyelashes that has been put on them. my face was so stiff bcos of the thickness of the make up.

i only took a bath once before the party so i felt itchy and really uncomfortable so when i got home i immediately took a bath and it took me about two hours to clean all of my body.

when i was going to bed i put a lot of eucalyptus oil on my feet and back. i also put some baby oil to my skin (hands and legs) to reduce the itchiness (which even after i took a bath it wont go away).

but the party was a success and all of my pain was worth it :)

at sunday me and my father woke up too late to go to church. at the afternoon we need to get ready for another party so yes, we didnt go to church today. we spent the day eating, watching tv and sleeping. it was nice. the party was fun, too. great day. it was a great day to rest.

i hope my sister in law's presence in can bring some fresh air to my family. she is a great wife, sister, and daughter. i know. that's why im so glad that she can join the family. welcome to the mess, ce. hope you like it :)

my playlist

2010-05-07T09:32:00.004+07:00

so these are my favorite songs currently...

1. alejandro - lady gaga

2. do wah doo - kate nash

3. neon - john mayer

4. red - daniel merriweather

5. i'm awesome - spose

6. rollacoasta - robin thicke feat. estelle

7. starry eyed - ellie goulding

8. don't trust me - 3oh!3

9. that should be me - justin bieber

10. two drops in the ocean - 311

11. water and a flame - daniel merriweather feat. adele

12. nothin' on you - taio cruz feat. bruno mars

13. boat behind - kings of convenience

14. when i look at you - miley cyrus

15. hot mess - cobra starship

16. the only exception - paramore

17. hey soul sister - train

18. young forever - jay-z

19. vampire weekend's songs

20. zee avi's songs

kakikuuuuuuu TT

2010-05-06T12:58:00.006+07:00

hari ini aku maen bulu tangkis.

i thought i wont play much, so.. yah, i decided untuk gk bawa spatu.

pas asik2 maen....

ndilalah, kakiku kapalen.

sakitnya minta ampun. jalan udah kayak orang pincang. pas diliat, model kakiku udah kayak kepiting rebus. merahhh. mbendol2 lagi.

dan, penderitaan kakiku nggak berhenti di situ.

sebtu nanti, kokoku married. jadi, mau nggak mau, dari siang (pemberkatan nikahnya) sampe malemmmm (resepsinya), aku musti dressed up. with HIGH HEELS.

aih...

God bless my feet.

hello hello.

2010-04-29T19:49:00.003+07:00

im frustated.

i have absolutely nothing to do these days. im bored to death. im too lazy to hang out with my friends. dont really feel comfortable with them anymore... too crowded, yet so cold. cant feel the warmth and closeness anymore.

next saturday im gonna take some cooking lessons at sages. honestly, i dont really know how to cook. its not that i suck at it, no. i just never cook. well of course ive cooked some simple meals like fried rice, or spaghetti, etc. but i cant make any meals that concludes complicated tools. i dont even have any oven! hahhh. but i really want to learn, you know. so i have something to be proud of. lol.

my excitement for the bali trip is somehow decreasing. i dont feel happy about it anymore. now, id rather sleep at home than have to go on vacation with my friends.

i dont know this feeling is right or wrong, but i just suddenly feel it. maybe i shouldnt be that narrow-minded and egoistic, but i feel left out. i know i mustnt think negatively about my friends but i cant help it. i was alone and they just didnt know, or trying to know.

my family has been in a mess lately and i feel really bad. i want to fix all the problems but i just cant. im only a child. what can i do? i can barely take care of myself. i just want to tell everyone related that i-or i can say we-dont mean anything bad to happen. sometimes its just time to move on. to look at the mirror and ask ourself what we have done wrong. my family hasnt been right either. and moving on doesnt mean forgetting all the things that are already happened. no. i feel we are still a family, somehow. its hard to be the bigger person but sometimes we just have to. i believe that there's always something to learn behind all the problems in life. and we need to learn something from this. maybe we learn different things from each other, but still, we need to. we have to. i hope we could still enjoy our moments together without any hatred and disappointment. it feels so hard to lose the special people in my life in all of a sudden, and i believe you feel the same way too..

cukup.

2010-04-26T13:46:00.005+07:00

feel like having no family. no friends. feel left out. again. feel mad. my heart and mind burning with anger. with loneliness. with disappointment. feel like there's no one on my side. everybody seemed so glad without me around. feel like they just wanna throw me away.

i guess im just not worth it. im not good enough. im not preety, friendly, smart, or all that. but i can be alone. can i?

they just dont know how i feel. they think that im fine, im okay. i have nothing to worry about, like them.

they think im okay with them treating me like hell. they forget me just like that. its easy for you, isnt it? killing me out of your memories?

well, im not gonna see all of you later anyway.

"there's no goodbyes, there's only see you later."

you're totally wrong. there is goodbye and im saying it to all of you.

so much for "friends forever".

2010-04-25T14:15:00.002+07:00

papa wes tau soal kursie. pasti skrg papa mikir aku sg salah. pasti aku sg dianggep nggak bener. sg dimarahi pasti aku.

by the way

2010-04-23T22:56:00.001+07:00

anyone who thinks that aku ngarang or membesar2kan, silahkan.

anyone who thinks im a drama queen, silahkan.

anyone who thinks im a weak crying baby, silahkan.

apa lagi yg bakal terjadi?

2010-04-23T22:33:00.002+07:00

beberapa menit yg lalu, aku baru aja dipukuli sama kokoku. rambutku dijambak. kursi tempat aku duduk di depan komputer ini barusan ditendang2. dia bilang caraku ngomong sama dia nggak berpendidikan. dia bilang aku gak punya aturan.

anyways, siapa yg gak punya aturan?

waktu aku kecil, dia nendang2 aku seenaknya sampe aku nangis. dia nggak pernah minta maaf. dan guys, nendangnya bukan guyonan. nendang beneran sampe aku keseret2.

waktu aku baru dapet kamar dulu, dia langsung klaim kamar itu punya dia. dengan entengnya dia bilang "aku tidur di kamarmu ae. mintao papa kamar baru." dia nggak pernah minta ijin. langsung nyelonong ke kamarku, mbawa barang2nya ke sana, trs tidur di sana tiap malem.

handuk sama gelasku selalu dipake, meskipun tiap kali aku pergi beli barang pecah belah aku musti inget buat bliin dia mug sama handuk baru.

ngambil hapeku, nggledah seenaknya sendiri, dan sekali lagi, dia nggak pernah ijin.

satu malem, dia seenaknya masuk ke kamarku (yg baru) trs tidur2an di sana sambil telpon. waktu aku suruh dia minggir, dia diem aja. tetep telpon. waktu aku marah, dia ktawa2. waktu aku yg mukul, dia balik mukul. dia dorong aku sampe nubruk besi2 jendela. berkali-kali. hari itu hari ultahku yg ke 17.

sebenernya masih banyak kejadian2 kayak gini di rumah. yg dia lakuin. aku masih pingin nulis banyak, tapi aku udah munek. bakal ada kejadian apa lagi? aku capek. aku capek sama dia. aku capek sama keluarga ini. aku capek dijadiin tameng. aku capek berusaha ngliatin ke orang2 kalo keluargaku normal. mreka smua nggak ada satupun yg berusaha. mreka diem aja. mreka nunjukin aku ke org2. mbikin org2 tanya ke AKU soal kluarga ini. bukan ke mreka. jadi AKU yg musti mikirin jawabannya. aku capeeeekkkk.

ko, kalo kamu mikir aku bakal nangis kayak pas km nendang aku dulu waktu aku kecil, kamu salah besar. aku udah kebal. percumaaa. kamu mau bawa pisau ke depanku aku gak bakal takut. aku udah nangis terlalu banyak gara2 kamu. sori.

sekarang yang mesti aku pikirin, gimana caranya mbenerin kursi yg kamu rusakin. nanti aku dimarain papa, tau. lagian nggak enak duduk kursinya goyang2 gini. aku yakin kamu nggak bakal sudi beli kursi baru. apa sih yg mau kamu korbanin buat kluarga ini?

aku tau kamu ya nggak kesenengen ada nd kluarga ini. tapi plis pikirno perasaanku. mbok pikir kamu tok sg nggak seneng? mbok pikir km tok sg nggak nyaman? AKU YA IYA. jadi ngacao plis. jok ngomong tok. jok nyalahno org tok. pikiren, sapa sg gak pernah ngurus, kecuali kalo ada sesuatu sg ngerugino. sapa sg gak pernah peduli, sampek ada satu masalah sg ngganjel. PIKIREN.

liburan panjang, ngapain ya?

2010-04-21T15:39:00.002+07:00

hello semua. hehehehehehe

sudah 2 minggu kira2 liburan udah jalan. bukannya seneng, malah bosen sampe mau muntah. ckck. bayangin, libur 2 minggu aja bosen, apalagi nanti 3 bulan? ampun deh. tiap hari, kegiatannya gak jauh beda. bangun jam 9-10. mandi. nonton tv. makan. internetan. kalo gk males fitness. kalo males nonton tv lagi. mandi lagi. makan lagi. dengerin radio. internetan lagi. tidur. besoknya, bangun jam 9-10 lagi. gahhhhhhhhh. bosen bosen bosen.

rencananya sih liburan ini aku mau les masak. hihi. siap2 jd ibu rumah tangga yg baik gitu. wakakaka. abis gitu mau ke bali! oh ya, ngomong2 soal bali, adaaaa aja yg bikin ribut == ada org2 yg nggak diinginkan. yah, istilahnya gitu lah. hahahahaha. hmm. trs mau ngapain lg ya? ohhhhh mau bersih2 kamar. kamarku kayak kapal pecah sekarang. penuh barang2 yg gk berguna. contohnya, buku2 SMA! widih mentang2 udh slesai gitu xD hahhh pokoknya liburan ini nggak boleh nganggur! hehe. kalo kalian2 ada yg punya kegiatan ato les ato apa gitu ajak aku yaa. kasiani diriku yg nganggur ini wkwkwkwk.

sekarang, jam 4 sore. irda lg tidur di kamar. tadinya sih mau ngobrol2 gitu, tapi lampu kamarnya dimatiin jd suasananya pas banget buat tidur. remang2 gmana gitu. hahahaha. dan, seperti biasa, kalo ada org laen yg tidur 1 tempat tidur sama aku, aku pasti gak bisa tidur (gtw deh ntar pas gede udh kawin gmana caranya tidur ==). akhirnya, disinilah diriku. menulis blog yg bener2 gk jelas ini. gara2 bosen pake bahasa inggris, alhasil pake bahasa indo. wkwkwkwk.

udah ah, mau nonton tv. ada serial baru di star world, judulnya KYLE XY. keren. irda pasti suka, soalnya ceritanya ttg org2 "spesial" trs nyangkut2 DNA2 gitu. sayang dia tidur. oh ya. irda gak pernah baca blog ku! omg. abis gini bangunin dia ahh, mau nyuruh dia baca blog ku dr awal sampe trakhir. ckck. masak ada org gk pernah baca blog temen baiknya sendiri?

ya sutra lah. byeeeee smua :)

im beaten up.

2010-04-20T16:51:00.003+07:00

its been very, very tiring lately. feeling like i have no more energy left in my body. all the family drama, all the jerks who are so called friends, all the past that coming back again...

im tired. why cant all these be simple? why cant we just say what we want? why cant we ask what happened first, before we make all the wrong statements? why cant we be more polite, know the right situations to do and say things? why cant we be more sensitive, trying to see people not from their cover? why cant we be more caring to people we love? why cant we show the love? why cant we try to see a problem from other's side? why cant we just live without any motives, or harming each other? why cant we stop disturbing everyone else's lives for our own purposes?

why do we have to envy on each other? why do we have to be skeptical to each other? why do we have to deny the fact that to get some we must lose some? why do we have to feel upset of other's happiness? why do we have to blame someone else and not looking at ourself?

why do we have to be a bigger person? why do we have to be accept all the consequences of other's deed? why do we have to hide all our sadness and disappoitment so the others wont be worried? why do we have to be kind, when people around us arent? why do we have to be in the middle of chaos, knowing nothing we can do? why do we have to burst lots and lots of tears without anyone knowing, or just trying to care? why do we have to try to be patient, when everyone around us are always pushing us so hard?

someone asked me about my love life. i really dont know what to say. i just dont need any boyfriend right now. my own life is already a mess and i dont need anymore rollercoaster in it.

im tired. i want to cry. everytime i try to be strong, everytime i think that the problems are all done, everytime i think that its gonna be okay, there are always some people making a new problem, interfering my good life. ruining my plans. taking over my ship and just sink it away, without any guilts. and they they blame me for that. telling that im not good enough. i dont care about my ship. i dont deserve to control my own ship. i have no rights. im just a little kid. i dont know anything.

im exhausted, waiting until all of these madness is over. not sure its gonna end, but still..

hari ini kayak tai.

2010-04-08T13:58:00.004+07:00

sialan semua. bete bete bete.

bangun telat gara2 koko sialan masih rame2 di kamar sampek jam 3 pagi. tai.

gk bisa tidur di kelas. tai.

kepala pusing. batuk2 terus seharian. tai.

pulang supir gk jemput2. tai.

papa ngomel gak jelas. ga brenti2. tai.

tai tai tai tai.

gtw bakal ada apa lagi nanti.

kepala bentar lagi udah mbledak.

pingin marah2.

pingin banting barang.

pingin pingsan aja. biar bangun besok udh g ada apa2.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

shit.

yes, im in love.

2010-04-06T12:19:00.003+07:00

im in love with my dreams and fantasy.
my goals and who im gonna be.
my future, the big picture!
the glory and victory which i will feel.

im in love with each and every steps i make.
those steps, they keep me on my feet.
reminding me to keep trying.
trying to reach every single thing ive ever wanted.

im in love with time.
the time which let me grow.
gives me time to learn.
allows all the things happened to me, big things or small.
they formed me. shaped me.

im in love with all the people around me.
they teach me how to live.
made me better.
made me stronger, day after day.
made me realize, that world is unfair.
thruth hurts.
people change.
human dies.
but still, there is love.
love that always gonna be shared. somehow.
in all the ways we never think of.

im in love.